Twice this year I taught
kiddos the story of the Rich Young Ruler (See: Matthew 19:16-22, Mark
10:17-27). Twice I studied the passage, memorized the story, and
spoke it in such a way in hopes of reaching the hearts of my
students. Twice it in went in my head and out my mouth, without
reaching my own heart. It wasn't until the Monday after the last time
I taught it, that I finally digested the story.
I was struggling
inside. I had dreams and hopes that I feared would never happen.
There have been many times when I have been so fearful and frustrated
that I get angry at God. This particular time, I was angry at myself
even, because I was letting my dreams make me miserable. That's when
the words of Matthew 6:21 came to mind: “Where your treasure is,
there the desires of your heart will also be.” The desires of my
heart were all wrapped up in my dreams. Not that dreams are bad. I
truly believe that many dreams God builds inside of us. But I was
letting my happiness be dependent on whether or not my dreams
happened. How does this make me like the rich young ruler?
- First, I have a genuine desire to serve God and have eternal life.
- Second, I often look at myself and I see that I've done okay. I grew up knowing the Bible, breathing the Bible, obeying the Bible. In fact, I look pretty "good."
- Jesus looks at me and sees that there is something I lack. As the second hour teacher taught the kids, it's like I gave one part of my heart to Jesus, but the other part I said, “You can't have.” I don't trust you with my dreams. They have to happen.
- Finally, as a result, I broke my own heart. I was walking away sad because I refused to give up my earthly treasures (dreams) for heavenly ones.
On that particular Monday,
I was tired of walking away sad. I finally said “That's enough.”
Jesus, here's the other part of my heart. I'm following you. That
means I'll go where you ask me, do what you want me to, and trust
that your dreams are much bigger and better than anything I could
ever dream. Lord, be my strength. I know there are times when I will
be tempted to snatch that part of my heart back, or maybe even a
different part. So I ask, Father, that when I do, that you will
whisper in my heart to give it back. Then, you can fill the whole of
me with your healing joy, and I will be ready to minister as you
called me.
